Blog Entry

Hmm, i read this entry in a blog while blog-hopping and am quite affected by it.

QUOTE:

After reading all of their blog entries, I can't help but wonder who can really be considered as my friends and who are just people who enjoyed my company for a short while when they are lonely or needs entertainment or needs advise or needs sex or whatever the reasons might be...

I can't help but feel a little helpless.

I never really had good friends. And I thought I had finally embarked on my belated journey to find good friends. But had I?...

Do you know how is it like to always not have people who wanna meet you for dinner?

Do you know how it is like to always go around thick-skinningly asking people whether you can join them for their dinner and activities?

Do you know how it is like when you are in a group and you do not know what they are saying or what is going on?

Do you know how it is like to sit in a group of people you know but you have nothing to say, not because you don't want to say anything?

Do you know how it is like when you bring someone to a group and they became closer and you became out?

I used to tell people who asked me these questions that these are normal occurrences. And that we should just accept what is going on as it is a part of life. But if it happens too often, one can't help but start to wonder. Is it normal? Or is it because of me?

I think I am scared now. I am scared I had just been living in my own fantasy.

I am afraid I had mis-read all the signs all this while. And thus making a fool out of myself... Making myself a laughing stock.



Hmm, i can understand his feelings, of not really being accepted, of being misinterpreted, of being awkward at times.

I think he also has the tendency to think too much, and this ain't helping things. Maybe he is abit illusioned, not knowing who to trust and what to think.

Lost, and grasping for survival.

Wondering why is he lagging behind in all this.

Thinking how he could get out of the eye of the storm.

If only he could see that he's in the centre, and to go with the flow of the wind. But he can't. Cos he dunno he's in the eye.

I hope i can see it.